Twilight (ESPN)Zone

Talk about sensory overload ... wow! Tonight, I took my 7-year-old son to dinner at ESPNZone in Baltimore's Inner Harbor. As we were being seated I discovered the "smoking" section was actually the one with the 8' x 10' video screen and leather lounge chairs. Hmmm, I thought ... I wonder how much 1 hour of second hand cigar smoke could actually damage a 4 ft tall human? After all, it was Monday, just after 5pm ... we probably had a good 2 hours before the heavy fumagators/drinkers arrived from local law firms, investment brokerages, and Euro SUV dealerships. Naaah, I'm the Dad ... I've got to do the responsible thing. We settled for the "non smoking" dining section with 24 TVs and alternative rock ... volume (I'm guessing) set at about 85 db.

We ordered and decided to venture upstairs for a look around while the appetizer (chips & chili) was being meticulously prepared in the adjacent kitchen. Cool ... an entire floor of sports video games. I plunked down 26 "clams" for a game card (which I was graciously informed could be re-filled at any ESPNZone nationwide), and we managed to shoot some pucks at a robotic goalie before our waitress found us and informed us that our chips were ready.

By the way, is "waitress" still politically correct? Perhaps the YY servers have a more appropriate title now ... I'd like to know what it is ... server-matron, wait-staff babe, female ESPNZone-ite? I digress ... it's not that I care about offending someone with non "PC" language, I just don't want to sound like an old geezer. Hmmm, probably too late for that now (unless I want to delete this entire entry).

We returned to our table. My son enjoyed his $5 hotdog and fries as I did my $10 pork barbeque. All while being serenaded by Coldplay's "Clocks" and getting an eyeful of cross-checks, high speed auto crashes, and teeth rattling slam dunks. PTI's famous duo, Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon began their broadcast on a few screens. I asked our server-lass if it would be possible to switch "Hoobastank" for the PTI audio ... no dice, turns out that is reserved for the smokers only ... dang! No matter, my son seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. Among the short snipits of communication during our dinner, I even managed to get a few "phrases of affirmation" (Stuart Smalley would be proud). "This is great Dad! You're the bestest Dad in the world!" Aaaah, those words ... that smile ... the dancing (literally) around our table.

Who do I thank for this quality evening with my eldest? An opportunity to use all five, God-given senses simultaneously? A chance to sip from the sensory fire hose that is today's American eating establishment for Men? Am I knocking it? Not really, I enjoyed it ... we both did. However, it does make me pause. When was the last time I took my family camping or hiking? My sons don't know how to differentiate a Maple tree from an Oak, or how to find the sweet smell root beer from wild sassafras. Come to think of it, God's creation if full of experiences for all our senses. It might be nice to share those with my family a bit more. Hmmm, sensory stimulation without the "overload" ... there's a concept. Perhaps a Sunday afternoon drive is in order ... maybe this weekend. After all, with my wireless FM modulator, I can pump out "Hootie & the Blowfish" from my iPod as we cruise the countryside!